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What not to say to someone who is TTC

Updated: Jul 10, 2023


What not to say to someone who is going through infertility

Are you or someone you know struggling with infertility?

If the answer is yes, then read along.


If someone sent you this, it's because they need you to understand their struggle and what they are going through. Please don't take this lightly. This person cares enough about you to let you in on their journey.


When talking to someone who is struggling with infertility, it is important to be mindful of the words you use.


Avoid saying insensitive things, as infertility is a sensitive topic for many. Even if you don’t think what you said was offensive, it could still be hurtful to the person you are talking to.


Even if you don’t realize it, certain phrases may cause emotional pain and certain comments that suggest someone is being punished or is at fault for their infertility can be extremely upsetting. Even the most well-meaning comments can be taken the wrong way.


 


 

what not to say to someone who is struggling with infertility
Here are some other things you should avoid saying:

1. "Just relax and it will happen." Trying to conceive can be extremely stressful and it's not always a simple fix.


2. "You can always adopt." While adoption is a wonderful option, it can be seen as a disrespectful suggestion to someone who is struggling with infertility.


3. "It must be your age." Age can be a factor; however, infertility is often caused by a variety of other health issues. PCOS and Endometriosis are just some common examples.


4. "At least it's not cancer." Comparing one illness or issue to another can be seen as insensitive and hurtful.


5. "Maybe it's not meant to be." This implies that the person is not in control of their own destiny and destiny is not something anyone can control.


6. "You should try XYZ treatment." Unless you are a medical professional, it's best to avoid offering any advice or treatments that may not be medically sound.


7. "Just keep trying, it will happen when it's supposed too." Often times we are taught in school that you have intercourse one time and get pregnant, and although that can be true for some, there are many out there that this is not the case. Some people go years of "trying" and I mean actually trying and still no luck. Its best to not say this.


Yes, these are all things we have heard!


Instead, try to be supportive and understanding of their situation such as "I'm here for you" or "What can I do to help?". Remember that everyone's journey is different and it's important to be respectful of the choices they make.


It can be difficult to know what to say to someone struggling with infertility. It is important to remember that the right words can make all the difference.


Remember, a kind word can go a long way in helping someone cope with the difficulties of infertility.


It’s also important to avoid making assumptions about a person’s fertility based on their age, marital status, or other factors.


It's always best to let someone struggling with infertility make decisions about their medical care, and not to pressure them into treatments they’re not comfortable with.


It is important to be mindful of the words you use and to remember that everyone’s experience is different. Be sensitive and supportive of those around you.


 

what not to say to someone who is struggling with infertility

Also, if you are pregnant, and someone you know is struggling with infertility, don't be upset if they don't share the same happiness with you at first. Infertility can be a difficult and painful experience, and everyone deals with it differently.

It's important to be respectful and understanding of their feelings and give them the time and space they need to come to terms with the situation. Making any judgmental or dismissive comments to someone has ended friendships and relationships, and always best to be mindful of the person's feelings and just remember Infertility can be an emotionally charged topic.

 

Another thing to avoid is getting mad when someone doesn't tell you they are going through fertility treatments. It is a very long process and so many are worried about miscarriage and other issues that might arise. Unfortunately, with the way society has made it, it's hard to talk to people who are not going through it.


"I don't tell my family because they don't understand, they don't get it, and they always make me feel like something is wrong with me." -Anonymous

Respect the pregnant person's privacy and allow them to share information on their own terms.


 

what not to say to someone who is struggling with infertility
I am speaking out because no one should have to suffer in silence when it comes to infertility.

Infertility is not just emotionally draining; it can be hard on your body as well. Those dealing with infertility may have to take lots of medications, undergo testing and shots, and some even have surgeries.

All of this can be expensive and difficult to handle. The financial burden alone can be overwhelming, and the emotional roller coaster and can be debilitating.

To add to that, there is no guarantee of a successful outcome.


It's important to remember that infertility is not easy and those struggling with it deserve respect and support.

No one should have to go through this journey alone.
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Jul 10, 2023
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Thank you for this! So many of my friends and family don't understand it.

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