Trigger Warning
Content warning: Graphic content and discussion of miscarriage. If you are sensitive to discussions about bodily fluids or miscarriages, this article may not be suitable for you. This blog focuses on TTC (Trying to Conceive) and covers various topics related to it, even those that may be uncomfortable to discuss. Please proceed with caution.
The TTC Rollercoaster: A Journey of Hope and Disappointment
Embarking on the journey to conceive can be an emotional rollercoaster for many couples. Each month brings hope, anticipation, and sometimes heartbreak.
Round 3: A Glimmer of Hope:
Round 3 was the round filled with optimism and excitement. I genuinely believed this was the month it would finally happen.
The journey had been filled with ups and downs, but this time, something felt different. The anticipation built up, and they eagerly awaited the outcome.
Unusual Cramping:
At 7DPO (Days Past Ovulation).
While not entirely uncommon during my TTC process, it caught my attention.
As the days progressed and I reached 12 DPO, the cramps intensified. However, since the I typically began my period at this stage, I initially assumed it was just a precursor to menstruation.
A Twist of Fate:
To my surprise though, I didn't start my period on time. A few days went by, and I continued testing daily, desperately hoping to see the those two lines indicating pregnancy.
Then, at 16DPO, a very faint line appeared on the pregnancy test—a moment of sheer joy and excitement.
Despite the excitement , I cautiously decided to test again the following morning, hoping for a darker line.
The next day arrived, but with it came a wave of intense cramps that were unlike anything I had experienced before.
I hoped the discomfort would subside, but it persisted. The mixture of excitement from the positive test and the sudden onset of intense cramping created an overwhelming sense of uncertainty and worry for us.
I was in the middle of painting our new house and a wave of pressure started to come. Before too long I was crying on the couch with the worst pain I have ever felt before. I ended up in the ER due to my sugar dropping below 50 and my BP skyrocketing.
The doctors ran tests and couldn't completely figure out the problem. They just kept telling me to see my OBGYN. Later that evening I started spotting.
When I woke up in the morning I had this intense overwhelming, what felt to be similar to a contraction. Then this huge gush rushed out of me.
I ran into the bathroom and it just kept coming out.
I instantly called my OBGYN.
While I was terrified, weak and nauseous over this event, shortly after, it was like an instant relief of pain and pressure.
My OBGYN told me they needed bloodwork right away and needed to see me. It was at this time they told me that they thought I just miscarried and they needed to check my HCG levels and my iron amongst other tests.
Test results
Unfortunately they confirmed miscarriage. I will go back in a week to repeat tests to make sure my numbers have completely went down.
Navigating the Complex Emotions of Hope, Loss, and Taking a Break
In life, our hearts often find themselves pulled in conflicting directions, leaving us torn and uncertain.
As women, the incredible ability to conceive brings forth a glimmer of hope for the future. However, the painful experience of losing a child is something that can never be easily overcome no matter how far along you are.
After much contemplation, we have made the difficult decision to take a brief hiatus before embarking on the journey of trying to conceive once again.
With our wedding fast approaching in less than two months, all we want is some sort of normalcy and a chance to heal.
Taking this short break does not diminish our dreams or undermine the significance of parenthood. Instead, it is a momentary pause, an opportunity to gather strength and restore emotional balance.
This hiatus grants us the chance to reflect, to cherish the present, and to embrace the love and support that surrounds us.
While the road ahead may be uncertain, we remain steadfast in our hope for a beautiful family. This respite serves as a reminder that sometimes, the best thing we can do is to take a step back, breathe, and allow ourselves to heal. And when the time is right, we will embark on this profound journey once again, fortified by love, hope, and the lessons learned along the way.
So, as we prepare to say our vows and embrace the joys that lie ahead, we take solace in this brief intermission, knowing that it will pave the way for a future filled with love, laughter, and the sweet miracles that await us.
The end of round 3
The TTC journey is a complex and emotionally charged process, filled with hope, anticipation, and unforeseen twists and turns. In Round 3, our story has experienced a rollercoaster of emotions—from the initial optimism of a faint positive test to the sudden onset of intense cramping that landed us in the Er.
As our journey continues, we will navigate the delicate balance between hope and caution, reminding us all that the path to parenthood can be filled with unexpected challenges.
As Always..
To all those on their own TTC journey, I extend my heartfelt support and encouragement. Remember that you are not alone in this experience. Surround yourself with a supportive network, seek guidance from medical professionals, and allow yourself to process the emotional ups and downs. Remain hopeful, stay resilient, and always believe that your dreams of parenthood are within reach.
Together, we navigate this path, holding onto the belief that someday our arms will be filled with the precious gift we've been longing for. Let us continue to support and uplift one another, embracing the journey with strength, courage, and unwavering determination.
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