So if your still reading that means you know that I got adoption records and started with searching for my bio mom first because I had more information on her.
2008 I started my journey. I had her name and that she lived here in Saint Augustine for a short time, and that she was a waitress. She was young, around 19 years old, and already had two children. 2 boys.
So I went to what we all use these days,
FACEBOOK!
I searched and used filters, and decided to write a letter. I copied and pasted it to every name that matched hers in hopes that one of them would say "YES I am her".
Unfortunately I had no luck. Some of them wrote back in a mean way telling me not to write them ever again and they blocked me, while others were very sweet and telling me that they aren't her but they wish me luck on this journey.
I started getting frustrated. I wasn't finding her, I was young, I didn't have the patience that I have now. I gave up looking.
I turned 21 and I was heading to work, and something told me to check again. I went back on Facebook and another profile with her name popped up. So I went back to one of the other messages, copied and pasted it to hers and pressed send.
I proceeded to do my everyday routine and I went to work.
As I was pulling into the driveway I heard my phone go off.
(yeah back then I didn't keep it on Do Not Disturb)
I looked down and saw her name. Honestly I didn't think much of it. I just thought it was gonna be like the rest of them.
I opened the message, and it read "YES I am her"
I was in shock because I didn't know what to say back at this point. I went to work and left in on read, and did my clients for the day. (I am a hairstylist)
I went home and had a long message from her explaining everything. I had numerous new friend requests (from family members) and messages. I was little over whelmed.
I decided I want to meet her right away and I didn't want to waste any time.
Yes I drove all the way to Indiana to meet her. The night that I got there, my brothers were there and everyone was so welcoming. It was a lot to take in.
Trying to learn everyone's names, who everyone was, how I was related to them. It was just a lot.
I was excited to know I had other siblings. Growing up I only had my older sister and she wasn't around much because she had a family and she was off doing her own thing. I always wanted a brother, and to find out I had 3, made me super excited. I attached to my brother Chris the most. I am not sure why, but at the time he made me feel the most welcome. I also really clicked with my cousin Jade.
As I was meeting everyone and they were all interested in learning about me, I had many questions of my own.
I was more excited to get some one on one time with my bio mom because I had so many questions that I wanted answered.
She began to tell me about the story.
- I was young when I had you. I already had two boys and I knew I couldn't do it at the time. Being a young single mom is very hard, and raising kids is hard. As your mother I wanted what was best for you.
- I met your parents and I fell in love with them right away. I wanted them to be my parents, They were so amazing. I knew right then that I didn't want to interview anyone and they were it.
- I didn't know if you were a boy or a girl. I figured knowing would only make it harder. When I went into labor with you, I had a wash cloth over my face. They brought you next door to your parents, and I cried, but I knew it was for the best. It was the hardest decision I had to make.
- I always hoped that you would come search for me. I promised that I would never come search for you. That if you wanted to find me, you could. So I left it as an "open adoption"
Before I had left my mom (the one that raised me) made sure to give me a letter that she wrote Amber T, and she thanked her. Talk about emotions. I am pretty sure we all had tears in our eyes.
During my time there I started asking more questions about my bio dad. I was curious and wanted to know more since there wasn't much talk about it while I was there.
She didn't have much information to give me. It was his name and where he worked and that he was around the age of 19.
I remember leaving there and being so sad, yet so accomplished. I didn't know what the future held for me.
To this day I still keep in contact with my bio moms side. I talk to my brother Chris from time to time. He has a beautiful daughter now. My brother Gunnar graduated high school and is working. My brother Dustin has got his act together, got married and now has children. My sister Elizabeth has graduated high school and working. I am so proud of them. It seems like everyone is doing good for themselves.
My cousin Jade and My Aunt Carrie really made an impact and I try to talk to them from time to time. They actually came to visit me here in Florida.
Actually since meeting my bio mom, they have all really come to visit at least once.
Even though I felt accomplished I still had a hole. Something was still missing.
My Bio Dad!
I just want to know who he is. I want to know what he is like. Does he have kids? I asked Amber T many questions and we tried looking him up and we couldn't find anything.
"My heart breaks for you sweetheart, I know you really want to find him, and I wish that I could be more of a help" -Amber T.
Since then I have been on a search for my bio dad. With little information, I was bound and determined.
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